truth is..

You say things,
to defend yourself.
but you can never hide,
your true feelings.

you never really cared,

though I'm hurt and sad.
you just become mad,
when I cry.

You never really loved,
cause if you do,
you'd ask why I cry
and actually listen.

Instead you just say stop,
and get annoyed.
But you never really do anything,
to actually stop the tears from falling.

You just don't want to see my cry,
so I hold it all inside,
and I feel it burning all inside,
but you never really cared,
If I feel like dying.
You never really cared.

You just say you've tried,
but I never feel enough,
truth is you don't love me enough,
to really really try.

maybe you loved me before
but i can feel it fade away.

God,
keep me strong.

nothing

YOU CAN ONLY BE MAD WHEN I CAN'T STOP CRYING
BUT YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING TO KEEP THE TEARS FROM FALLING
YOU THINK YOU'VE TRIED BUT NEVER ENOUGH
TRUTH IS YOU DON'T LOVE ME ENOUGH TO REALLY TRY

A COLD HEART,
A COLD MIND
MAYBE I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU,
BUT I LOVE YOU.

God, i pray to You.

God...
i pray to You,
asking for forgiveness,
as I know that I have sinned.

God...
i pray to You,
expressing my gratitude,
for the life that You've given.

God...
i pray to You,
asking for Your blessings,
and keep me away from evil.

God...
i pray to You,
thankful for the time You've given,
that I could use with my family and friends

God...
i pray to You,
help me to be strong,
to endure all life's trials.

God...
i pray to You,
keep my heart on Your track,
and open it to the less fortunate.

God...
i pray to You,
embrace everybody,
and keep them safe with Your guidance.

God...
God...

God...
i pray to You,
let the person I love,
love me back in return.

Amen.

cold as you-taylor swift

You have a way of coming easily to me

And when you take, you take the very best of me

So I start a fight cause I need to feel something

And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

**
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away,
no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
...
I've never been anywhere cold as you
**

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray

And I stood there loving you and wished them all away

And you come away with a great little story
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

**
Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Just walk away,
no use defending words that you will never say
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
...
I've never been anywhere cold as you
**

You never did give a damn thing honey
but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody
if I died, died for you...

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
...
I've never been anywhere cold as you

if i were a boy-beyonce

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I'd kick with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they'd stick up for me.

**
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man.

I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
**


If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
Id put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waitin' for me to come home

**
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man.

I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
**

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

...

But you're just a boy

how does it feel?

how does it feel when you have given everything
everything that you could have given,
but still it's not enough,
to get what you wanted?

how does it feel when you've tried your best,
with what you have,
but still it's not enough,
to be who you wanted?

how does it feel to be at the lowest point,
to feel so inferior,
and you could do nothing,
because you are nothing?

how does it feel to see the person you love,
unhappy and not satisfied,
as if he's stuck in a relationship,
with someone he doesn't really love?

how does it feel losing the battle,
and knowing that you're about to lose the war,
and that you're out of strategies,
and that you have to give up what you're fighting for.

How does it feel to really love someone,
who doesn't love you back?

clearance of the dirty mind

relieved?
hell YES i am!
because my senses are actually making some sense now.
Head's cleared of evil dark thoughts,
and now I'm just looking for the sunny side.

i developed a new way of thinking:
to NOT be afraid losing chances
eventhough it only comes once in a lifetime.
I guess I'm now a believer in the "everything is predestined" theory,
if it's meant to be, it's meant to be,
doesn't matter how, doesn't matter when,
you'll get it if it's for you
distance and time don't mean a thing.
if it's not, it just won't work no matter how hard you try.
You don't need to put efforts in destiny,
it will come to you eventually.
if it doesn't,
then maybe it's gonna come in your next life.
don't sweat the small things,
or you won't fully enjoy it.
life's ingredients are made up of many things.
You don't live with just one of them.
If one's lost, you won't die.
You still have the whole world to make up for that one lost ingredient.
Sometimes you hope for things,
and you don't get them.
It's okay,
better stuff will appear.

another thing,

don't change for somebody else.
change for yourself,
and make somebody else change for you.

;)