argghhh...3:22 AM and still wide awake!! i didn't even drink any coffee><... my face is covered with acne lotion... i hatee my pimples... :(( yesterday was chinese new year,, went to the usual place,my mpekong's house at blandongann..huaahh..the road was hell crowdedd.. took us 2 hrs to get there! i didn't get that much angpaoo.. but i'm happy this year's cny gathered more family than last year's :D
cant sleep..really people, this late night sleeping habit is turning into a disease! hmm is it maybe because i have too much stuff on my mind?? that must be it. i'm really fed up.. huahh... i'm so bored with life here. exams and UAN are coming soon.. i'll be studying like crazyy for the UAN,,i have to cover the wholee SMU syllabus,,imagine that! damn the government. especially the education department for putting up 6 subjects for UAN instead of 3. HELLO?? students nowadays are no einsteins!! especially students in indonesia! wtf have we done to you that you guys really want to fail us, huh?
oh that reminds me, monday i have to do a physics test! if it weren't for the stupid indosiar show i wouldn't have to be absent. would have been able to do the test with my friends and the best part is i COULD HAVE cheated! now i have to do the test alone,, in the teachers' room..noone to ask for answers.. good thing my friend jotted down the answers,, i hope sir joko doesn't change the questionss..huahh.. dont blame me if i cheat too much..too much to learn at school mannnn :P
speaking about school makes me miss olevell... i miss the basketball dayss..! i miss when we were still young, not having to care about university, about the future. i miss when i only had to think about tomorrow and tomorrow only. ahhh childhood and teenage dayss.. i haven't left them yet but i'm missing them already. nothing compares to those silly momentss, a wonderful memory indeed :). now everythingg changes. irrespective of the amount of changes, i feel that it really affects my behaviour. i can feel the smallest changes, i can feel when it affects me,, and i feel uncomfortable with them.. well maybe because they're not the common things, they're something we don't know, something new. everyone is afraid to strangers at first, right??
the changes i feel the most is the ones that happen to my friends. and the friendship i have with them. i don't know what is changing exactly, but i can feel something is definitely not in place. and something is going on inside my head, the way i see things and the way i think, my emotions, they're all changing too. huahh i wish it wont end up tragic. changes are made if it's for the better right?? well, i would change for the better,, but how would i know beforehand whether it would lead to the better??? this way i won't have the courage to make a change, will i? ahh i guess not, i won't have the courage to transform.
but changes must happen. and it's sad in some sentimental way :(
changes changes changes.. well my mood is undergoing one right now. i feel rather sleepy.. no wonder,, it's 4:11AM!!! i'm outta here and going to bed,,
yawnn... *0*
~antonia
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